Feels like pressure to me

I

              THURSDAY 2/13/2020 9:30 AM--as far as I know, the FHB is practicing this evening...it will be innaresting I bet...there may be some heated discussion...
3:47 PM--the theme for the next 4th Thursday open mic is "time"...I think I might pick YESTERDAY...While I would like to do my "Neil Young" arrangement, I'll likely have to settle for the Beatles' Tokyo arrangement, and even THAT might cause trouble...
        10:15 PM-Practice itself went well enough I suppose… Getting there was a fucking disaster; somehow I got lost between Linda’s and Butch’s house...not lost as in “I don’t know where I am”, but more like I’m not where I think I am/wanna be...I blame my night vision, which is bad and getting worse...and I must also fault Google Maps-for the second time in recent weeks/months it has failed me… But ultimately, I made it to Butch’s house he paid me half of the asking price ($100) for the wireless and will pay me the other half after the gig…after which I had a shot of whiskey--because I didn't have any Xanax...it calmed me down...
2:30AM-just managed to pull off what I feel is a major technical achievement… From my phone I composed a Google document and printed it… It’s the complete set of lyrics to BABY COME BACK… I do very much need help getting the structure down and maybe there’s room for the chords as well...
2:50AM-actually, there wasn’t room for chord symbols so I went back in and changed the font size and printed another copy… I’ve then scanned THAT copy, and now I have two larger font size and one original font size copy of the lyrics... I suppose the toughest part of the job was finding the paper, but I did…
         Boy, Linda’s printer is super fast; at least when compared to the printer that Dianne has... Excited though I may be, I’m going to try to go back to sleep until seven o’clock or so...
FRIDAY 2/14/2020 8:47 AM--I don't believe it...in about 20 minutes (as opposed to 60) I bought a song from Apple, fed it into Audacity, changed the key AND tempo and put it in my iTunes Library...wow...
11:35AM--slowly but surely getting the guitar solo in JUST WHAT I NEEDED (in D) and the parts to BABY COME BACK (with a capo) here in G-burg...I've got "eBay" here, but the amp is in Rockville...Dunno when I'm gonna work on this stuff over the weekend--Dianne wants to keep busy...
4:45 PM-here in Rockville, on my smart phone, I’ve cooked up the set list for next weeks FHB gig at Hershey’s… Dianne and I are going out tomorrow night for dinner and to see the band $.49 Cent Dress,  who’s female singer is a friend of Dianne’s...
7:48 PM-in the past I haven’t taken any kind of criticism very well...but for whatever reason the criticism I get from my bandmates doesn’t bother me as much as it could...mostly I suppose because most of it is justified...could it be that I’m leaving the wintertime depression behind, if only temporarily...
SATURDAY 2/15/2020 11:07 AM-actually did some guitar practice this morning...it was almost fun; I hope to do more tomorrow...I guess it depends on what else is going on in Gburg... I didn’t use the amp or the gizmo, I just sat on the sofa watching TV, playing an unplugged electric guitar...