the opposite of fun

         FRIDAY 12/21/18 11:27AM--so tonight I have a gig with the Combustibles...I'm already wishing it was over...I'm just gonna keep my head down and count the hours until it ends...thankfully it's a three hour gig and not a four hour gig...gonna do my best to ignore the inevitable mistakes...I'll TRY to count them, but that won't be the least bit easy...I wish I could care, but I just don't...I suspect the gig pays about $50 bucks...that doesn't seem like a lot to me...Any less than $75 and gonna be disappointed...Maybe having Stoney on Bass will make the gig more enjoyable for me...
5:17PM--almost as ready as I'm gonna be...Barry is scheduled to get here at 7...which leaves me time to shave and wash my hair...half of my gear is in the living room...I'm NOT taking the amp stand or the guitar stand...I expect to regret not bringing the amp stand, but I'm still gonna leave it home...
11:37PM-when I get home I’m gonna send an email informing my band mates that I’m resigning, effective immediately...
SATURDAY 12:48AM-except I want my $80 first...I can’t imagine Barry keeping my share of the money, but I don’t feel like taking any chances...*I* made my share of mistakes tonight; it seems like once I make one, I inevitably make more, a sort of domino effect...four of us have been playing JUNIOR'S FARM for a number of years, but Barry fucked up big time tonight and the rest of us fell apart to show solidarity...and, for whatever reason, Ric is a terrible singer, maybe even (in some ways) worse than Barry...he forgets most of the lyrics to just about every song he sings...and Barney sometimes over plays...and IMO the a capella breaks SHOULDN'T be a capella breaks, there needs to be something to keep the beat and/or the tonal center...more than usual I can't wait to hear from payPal...Barry thinks it won't be until Wednesday because of the Xmas Holiday...