my tenure as a member of the Combustibles could end soon

     SATURDAY 42/22/18 8:51 AM--If I can wait until the Sears repairman leaves, I'll write my resignation letter...He won't be here for at least another hour...how long he'll be here? who knows? and of course, there's the option of listing all the reasons why I'm leaving--or NOT...
              I think listing those reasons would hurt some peoples' feelings, whether they would admit it or not...I would send the resignation letter today, but (although I don't think it WOULD happen) there's a slim chance that Barry would not pay me for last night's gig...who thinks clearly when they're angry? So I'll wait until the $80 is in the Bank...
10:45AM--instead of waiting until AFTER the first time I perform one of my songs in public, I started refining the lyrics this morning...it might be the next one I play out--somewhere...there won't be a GYY open mic until January 7th, and I can't guarantee that I'll be able to go--Dianne's last surgery is that same day...maybe there's one semi-close by that I can go to...on the other hand Xmas and NYE are coming up...
1PM--spent about an hour and a half on the phone with Stoney...he thinks I should reconsider my plan to leave the Combustibles...I hope he doesn't repeat the content of our discussion to anyone...especially the part about wishing *I* could be a sub for Lenny in the Crimestoppers...sometimes I'm such a fucking idiot; I can't stop myself...
      I had the idea of dropping the Xmas Concept for the 4th Thursday Open Mic a the OTWC...Stoney agrees, but seemingly no one else does...rats...so we're doing a Xmas show on December 27th, TWO DAYS AFTER Xmas...oh well...
6:39PM--feeling down, emotionally...physically? I'm ok, not quite up to going out though...that's as much because of my emotional state as my physical state...the roomie is happy that I'm staying home tonight...it's taking a fair amount of effort to remember that today is SATURDAY...
7:06PM--actually feeling quite anti-social; I don't think I'd go anywhere even if the roomie was OK with it...
7:25PM--refining the lyrics to HIGH HOPES, my break-up song--is it a romance breaking up? or a Band? Not sure about the Music to it yet, but I think I have a groove in mind for it...dunno when I'm gonna work on it...I don't suppose there are any open mics to go to on Xmas eve, right?
SUNDAY 12/23/18 10:40AM--*I* think the some of the guest singers at the 4th Thursday o.m. don't appreciate the house band as much as they should...the more I work with Arlene, the less I like it...I feel like I've got a LOT of homework to do between now and Thursday--and (at this point in time) I don't feel like it...I barely feel like playing the gig at all...but I can always use $50 bucks...my advice to the guests--this is what we're gonna play, sing the song or don't, take it or leave it...