dunno what to say

            SUNDAY 12/16/18 8:15PM--band practice went the way I figured it would...I arrived at the SAW Xmas party at about 5:30 or so...the director of a high school vocal ensemble singled me out as an exceptional guitarist..I have no idea what to do with that kind of adulation...and Jay asked me three times if I wanted to perform...I said "no" each time...and I don't yet regret it...
                            I might do one of my songs tomorrow evening at GYY...I'll probably play it safe and sing WISHES, because I know that one better than the newer ones; I really need to remedy that....as for covers, I probably should have COMES A TIME ready, in case Jodie shows up...that would be two...I should be prepared for her to NOT be there...I'm gonna try to decompress and hopefully be in bed by 11-ish...
              MONDAY 12/17/18 8:49AM--still thinking a bit about what [that guy] said last night...but what I should be doing is prepping for tonight...so that's what I'm gonna do...
9:29AM--I'm probably gonna play WISHES tonight, and two other ones...I'll only do COMES A TIME if Jodie shows up but I strongly suspect she will...so I probably only need one more...POSITIVELY 4TH ST. perhaps...
7:27PM- no that’s not what I’m gonna do...I’m going to do Comes a Time and my original tune… That’s all I have time for; it’s crowded tonight...and folks are still coming in...
   Is there any open mic that Jeff Karn doesn’t go to? *I* don’t go to that many...
8:27PM- COMES A TIME was great, WISHES, my original song was a trainwreck; I think Xanax woulda helped...no one has offered any comments good or bad...that’s because I sucked...I think there’s a domino effect at work...once I make one, I make more...I guess I wasn’t kidding when I told a certain woman (Susan) that her presence was gonna mess me up...it doesn’t help that I’m rewriting the songs minutes before I play them...I don’t WANNA give the songwriting thing up, but maybe I should...Or maybe I should be satisfied with the Musical abilities I already possess...
          I suspect I’m gonna have more fun at the OTWC on Thursday than I will at the Combustibles’ gig...I already know that we'll probably suck and that no one will hear that but me...and there won't be much of an audience...oh boy...
TUESDAY 8AM--the bad always seems to be "louder" than the good...even though HE stumbled a bit, the spontaneous (on MY part) vocal sit-in with Rob Gould and the super ubiquitous Jeff Karn on WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME TOMORROW sounded f**king fantastic, to ME anyway...I had forgotten about it...the next o.m. at GYY won't be until January 7th...I absolutely plan on staying home that night...
         IF I'm gonna continue to play solo, I absolutely HAVE to figure out a way to rehearse even though Dianne is (literally) in the house...gonna try the basement, when I feel up to it...which needs to happen soon, probably Thursday--..
   Finally something positive--I spontaneously fixed a lyric that I didn't like in WISHES; I had taken the verse completely out...it felt unsingable to me...I can put that verse back in...I just don't see any opportunities to sing it in the near future...