finally, it's Saturday...and I don't care

           SATURDAY 10/26/19 12:45 PM--I've been fairly excited about going to Laurel tonight to hang out with and sit-in with "Dawgz Off the Wall"...but I get the feeling I won't be playing much...Frankly, I'm counting on Stu to spontaneously hand me his guitar on more than two or three songs...I intend to ask him about that, face to face...I guess it's possible that he would relay my thoughts to Eileen, and she would get annoyed if not angry...She seems to be a bit too rigid and inflexible for me, like Stoney--only a lot easier to look at.
        I think there are 45 songs on tonight's set list, including "extras"...I believe I could theoretically play on all of them...I don't have to/want to play on ALL of them, but just three songs? I'm still wondering if it will be worth it...
5:22 PM--I should be excited, but mostly, I'm stressed out...I've taken one Xanax, I wouldn't be surprised if I take another one at some point...Because I'm so impatient, I texted Stu regarding my playing whenever HE wanted me to, although that my bother Eileen...he texted back "10-4!" which I could interpret as "I agree with you" but who knows? Stu strikes me as a guy who likes to be in charge, and from what I've seen is good at that...
 7:30 PM- I missed the exit that I wanted to take to get to the gig, but I found an alternate route and actually got here almost exactly when I wanted to…finally the subject of money came up...I SAID I’d be happy with $10 but the Truth is I'd rather have $20 bucks...I’m not quite a part of this group, but I sure don’t feel like a part of the other groups I’m an actual member of... and there’s one thing about playing at an AmerLegion--I strongly suspect that I am the only Liberal in the whole building… That makes me nervous, but the plan is to keep my mouth shut as much as possible…