Fooling myself?

      THURSDAY 12/19/19 9:55 PM-So here I am at the OTWC...suddenly feeling like I’m in Musical Little League...I suspect that’s how other people see me...I shouldn’t care what other people think, but I do...I thought I was in the Major League, not the best player but not the worst either...I KNOW I’m not the worst... I’m in a band with some not very good singers and players, but I’m not naming names…
11:35PM-maybe if it hadn’t been so cold this evening, I woulda brought my gear to the open mic...but I AM saving myself for Monday...I'm having an OK time though...
 FRIDAY 12/20/1911:50 AM--I found out that I don't even have to bring my amp to the Derwood Xmas Show...I'll just bring Butterscotch and the ME-70...or just some stompboxes...we're only playing a 15 minute set, and it's a benefit...I still wish somebody had co-ordinated the Xmas songs, as in who's singing what...oh well...maybe I should tell Butch that HE can use JT's amp, so he won't have to bring his...but then I WILL have to bring mine, and I don't really wanna...
7:25 PM--still feeling down about my Musical public image...to some degree it's my fault, associating with amateurs...yes, that's what I said...perhaps not Barnaby, Stoney or Brian, but possibly just about everyone else...I don't consider myself to be an amateur, but maybe after FIFTY YEARS I am...maybe The LCB was my Professional period...actually, I felt like a Pro when I was with Daryl Davis...why he dumped me, I may never know...and maybe I don't wanna know...
 SATURDAY 12/21/19 9:05 AM--because I don't wanna spend 15 minutes possibly not liking the sound of JT's amp while playing with the FHB, I'll bring my own amp, hassle though that may be...that will be one less thing to worry about...after all, I told JT I would...and I told Butch that I would...and I'll probably just bring a pair of stompboxes...
9:41AM--listening to the FHB rehearsal recording of the Xmas songs...I'm not the worst singer in the Band...I'm reluctant to say who I think is...HINT--I think he's moving away sometime next year...I assume he'll be replaced...
10:50 AM--Somebody (Barnaby?) set up a Flakebook Page for the FHB...I don't think I'M an administrator; dunno if I'm ever gonna be...I'd like to add some photos, but I don't think I can yet...
5:18 PM--the gig isn't until Monday but I'm consumed by it...which is having a negative effect on my body...
7:08 PM--I tried to add a photo to the FHB FB page--as far as I know, I'm still in the band--but the post/photo isn't on the page yet...and (unless I'm doing something wrong, which IS possible) I can't load/post anything to the Page...I won't call anybody an asshole for shutting me out--yet...