fooling myself?

            MONDAY 10/29/18 3:13PM--I think I close to getting the hang of editing vids on my phone...what I SHOULD do is practice the songs...shortly I will attempt to do that, and time the set as well...still have lingering doubts as to whether or not I should actually be pursuing this course of action--the solo acoustic act, that is...

8:18PM-now I have visual proof that I’m as bad as Rockville Mike...VERY depressing...I wonder if a Xanax would help...I will try the set at Crossroads tomorrow evening, after taking a Xanax-but not gonna do the video thing...

9:44PM-I didn’t have any fun tonight...I mentioned that on Flakebook...nobody has offered me any encouragement, yet...

TUESDAY 10/30/18 11:11AM--since yesterday evening Barry has weighed in, in a fairly positive way...Ray also, in a somewhat vague way, offered some positive advice...so I still plan on going to Crossroads tonight...I've already done a teeny bit of practising and I expect to do a teeny bit more later today...what I think I SHOULD do is make up a 15 or 20 minute set and run through it as many times as I can until Dianne gets home...
11:35AM--I actually watched a little of the video I shot last night...parts of it were OK--not great, but ok...I possibly made myself nervous about playing at Gumbo Ya Ya...I will talk myself into being relaxed at Crossroads...and take a Xanax before I leave the house...
3:12 PM-did a little bit of practising...learned the "right" way to play Yesterday--I was putting more in it than was necessary, so I took out the excess stuff...I actually feel rather confident about tonight's set...I think RUBY TUESDAY is gonna go really well, YESTERDAY fairly well, IS SHE...will likely be OK, and WELL RESPECTED will be OK...that's four...I guess I won't get in anymore practice, but I think I'll be OK...
6:41PM-I took a Xanax; let’s see what happens...Alan just walked in...Angela may not be far behind...UPDATE-probably no Angela after all...
7:40PM-maybe I WILL keep going with the (sorta) solo thing...Alan’s guitar and vocal parts were a teeny bit distracting, but I didn’t care-thank you Xanax...and yes I DO think the little bit of practice might have made a difference...
9:49PM--like I said, there were boo-boos, but none of the songs completely collapsed...I'm now feeling optimistic...
WEDNESDAY-so here I am at Crossroads, hoping to play some blues...Gooch isn’t here yet; hardly anyone else is either...at the most I can do four blues songs-and they're all songs that have been overplayed for a long time...
UPDATE-a couple more Musicians are now here...and I’m more nervous than I was before...and, I just found out, I get. to play behind Sally-oh boy...but I’m gonna have Jeff on the other side of the stage...
11:37PM--I had a LOT of fun at the Jazz/Blues Jam...it was even fun accompanying Sally...
8:35PM-hangin’ out at the OTWC...suddenly flirting with songwriting...let’s see how long the flirtation lasts...speaking for myself, musically at least, all I’m doing is imitating other musicians...maybe that will work with songwriting...maybe...
9:25PM-let’s see if I still have these urges when I wake up tomorrow...Rob says “just do it” so I just might give it a shot...and yet part of me says “who are you kidding?” Shouldn’t I be satisfied with what I CAN do?

progress

       
                     SUNDAY 12:48PM--I think the tripod is gonna work fine...but *I* have to learn how to edit videos...LATER--I think I might possibly know how to edit vids on my phone, maybe...and because I've been doing stuff today, I'll likely have less stuff to do tomorrow; which should leave me more time to practice whatever songs I hope to do at GYY and shoot a video of the performance...I might just try that in the morning after Dianne goes to work...pick out four songs, set up the camera, start it, play the songs then stop the camera...then edit a bit of the beginning and a bit of the ending...

                 I think I should leave home at about 10AM to go to my appointment with Dr. Malinsky...Dianne is usually gone by 7-ish; it shouldn't take three hours to shoot and edit a 20 minute video, right?

5:25PM--the tripod instructions tell me nothing about the ways it can be adjusted...I'm figuring them out on my own...I really do think I can squeeze in a short test right after Dianne goes to work tomorrow...we'll see...

aftermath

                   FRIDAY 10/26/18 6:35PM--One of the guest singers at last night's open mic put up three or four vids on FB...The Bass player's wife put her video of me singing LOLA on youTube...*I* then posted it on Flakebook...All things considered , like no rehearsal whatsoever, I did OK...but boy, the whole gig  wiped me out...I'm pretty sure I'll be in bed before 11PM--unless of course I get a second wind...

               Looking forward to Monday, Tuesday...and even Wednesday...it seems like a good system, two acoustic nights followed by one electric (Blues) night...

SATURDAY 10/27/18 8:17PM--suddenly it feels like I'm gonna be busy the next couple of days...I intend to buy a cell phone tripod on Sunday...tomorrow I need to practice whatever songs I'm gonna do at GYY on Monday, and practice shooting a video...the table where I've sitting at GYY should be perfect for recording my set...Crossroads? There too I think I know a good spot to place my phone...and I think I can edit out the very start of the video, which would likely show me setting up the shot...gotta practice THAT too...

SUNDAY 12:48PM--I think the tripod is gonna work fine...but *I* have to learn how to edit videos...

back to the old neighborhood, sorta

                     WEDNESDAY 10/24/18 7:45AM--now that I should start thinking about the 4th Thursday Open Mic at the OTWC, which is tomorrow, what I FEEL like doing is practising the acoustic songs...go figure...I'll start thinking about tomorrow's open mic tomorrow...in a little while, I'll go to Safeway, then I'll come home and have an early Lunch--I'm planning on having a Potomac Pizza for Dinner, expensive though it ultimately is...
        Just got back from Safeway...thinking about maybe going to the Blues/Jazz open mic at Crossroads tonight--I said "maybe"...should make sure I can still play electric guitar and make sure my gear works...apparently the Fantle/Geshen duo is finished...I thought we were actually pretty good, but maybe *I* wasn't good enough...nah, that can't be it...
             Likely going to a nearby Jazz and Blues Jam...leaving in about an hour...dunno what to expect, kinda nervous...
        and NOW I'm nervous about Thursday night...Stoney is interfering with my performance of LOLA, *I* dunno why...why shouldn't I be in charge of that song? I'M the person singing it...
8:48PM-the blues set (three songs) went well enough; I shared it with Roger...had Andy on drums...there may be more later, I dunno...I DON’T want Tim Meese on Bass IF I get to play again... I don’t expect to, and that’s fine by me... I did get some compliments for both my guitar playing AND singing...
THURSDAY 10/25/18 7:38AM--so far my very low key refusal to go along with Stoney's suggestion regarding LOLA has been ignored...I suspect there will be friction at the 3PM load-in...and I guess I'll be back on Butch's side of the stage; I don't like that, but there doesn't seem to be anyplace onstage for me that doesn't affect someone's hearing...this may be my last gig as house guitarist; do I need that $50 bucks that much? is it worth the stress?
5:30PM--the load-in was free of conflict, as far as I can tell...hoping to have fun tonight...
10:29PM-The Kinks set went better than I thought it would…LOLA  went better than the last time I try to sing it here, because this time I had the lyrics in front of me…but it coulda been better...

and we start again

            SUNDAY 10/21/18 8:07PM--so tomorrow I should think about what songs I might sing at Gumbo Ya Ya that evening, if any...I don't feel like thinking about it now...and I'm seriously considering putting new strings on the Fender acoustic...
     MONDAY 10/22/18 9:15AM--going out shortly to do stuff...was having second thoughts about going to Gumbo Ya Ya...and then just about the first thing I saw on Flakebook was the BobFest version of MY BACK PAGES...that might mean something...I just dunno what...
      7:15PM- i’m damn near last on the list here at gumbo Ya Ya…I’ll never get used to playing solo in front of people if there aren’t any people to play solo in front of; and I’m assuming Donate and her two friends had a discussion with Rob about singing with him...
         As of now I’m doing all Dylan songs...might mix it up a bit-or not...maybe I shoulda worn louder clothing...I’m feeling invisible...well, that’s what can happen when you’re solo I guess...kinda sorry I came here tonight...do I want an audience or not? *I* have no idea...
9PM-I was kinda prepared to work solo, but Donate had another idea...there IS strength in numbers...so Voices Three will likely join me on RELEASED...and I’m only gonna do two and a half songs...
10:35PM-but those two and a half songs went pretty damn well, if I do say so myself...and the audience was a big enuff...Donate sez she recorded me...I  guess I'll see it sometime Tuesday...now I can think about the open mic at Crossroads...
         I've got a setlist of five songs...I really intend to rehearse at least some of them...not sure what I would do if I needed a sixth song; maybe I should give it some thought...
TUESDAY 10/23/18.  7:35PM- just finished my set at Crossroads... I absolutely sucked...Angela showed up; that was bad enough... then Alan Main showed up...he’s sitting with her...that’s kinda like pouring salt into the wound...I woulda been better if I had spent a LOT more time rehearsing... I think if I could leave now, I would…if I remember, next time I’ll take a Xanax...IF there’s gonna be a next time...
      It had to happen eventually...I’m wondering if I was meant to do this solo acoustic thing after all…maybe I’m being too hard on myself-MAYBE...after all, I’ve only been doing the solo thing for about three weeks, (since about 10/2) and the performances have been at least halfway decent...until tonight, that is...
9PM-soooo glad Alan and I did Guinevere...that damn near makes up for my solo set..I did have trouble keeping it together during it...dunno if anyone could tell...after the fact, one of the performers said, "I thought you would join me for THE LEE SHORE"...I sure as hell wanted to, but he didn't ask me...an evening best forgotten...

getting better bit by bit

                FRIDAY 10/19/18 1:15AM--my solo set at the OTWC open mic went pretty well IMO; I had a bassist and another guitarist (Johnny the host) accompanying me for the whole set, so it wasn't really solo, was it? But it felt pretty good...a member of the audience said to me "you're good" when I came offstage and sat down...that means a lot...
        By the time I got up to play, the place was nearly empty...I guess everyone was at Hershey's...oh well..I did 7 (?) songs...the hang-up about doing Rising Sun Blues has been overcome I think...I did that one without any "insurance"...but I had a lyric sheet for STREETS OF BALTIMORE, a last minute choice--and still stumbled with that one a little bit...The hardest thing I had to endure was listening to Rockville Mike trying to convince me that his single acoustic guitar arrangement of GOOD VIBRATIONS actually worked--it absolutely DOES NOT...I hope *I* don't sound to others as bad as he sounds to me...
           IF I can go to the Gazebo Jam--IF it happens, I might go...on the other hand, it might be a good time to go to the movies...

       

our first major disagreement?

       
              TUESDAY 10/16/18 6:50AM--I dunno why, but Lou wants us to play SOUTHERN MAN at the Neil Young Tribute on Wednesday...I do not...aside from the fact that I don't like the song that much, I'm pretty sure *I* can't hit the high notes...he'll be here in about five hours and nine minutes...he also wants us to play THE LONER--I'm worried about some of those notes as well...
             4:45PM--Lou and I did not fight over song selection, or anything else...I plan to focus on tomorrow night's Neil Young Tribute Show tomorrow...as for tonight, I'm going to Crossroads; I'm NOT gonna try to do the same songs I tried to do last night at Gumbo Ya Ya...I'm not 100% sure what songs I WILL be doing, but I'll get that figured out on the way to Crossroads...
         Tonight's open mic will start at 8 (sign up at 7:30) and go until 10...I guess that's just a one time thing...
             9:53PM-my solo set (3 songs) went pretty well...I’d give myself an 8 on a scale of 10...Howard played percussion on two of the songs, maybe all three, I don’t remember...NOW I gotta focus on NEIL...
        WEDNESDAY 9:21AM--I have LOTSA choices of songs I could do at the OTWC tomorrow, if I wanna...I DO think I should start with songs I already know really well, like LMYR or...No Tears...or Goin' Nowhere...or Tambourine Man...or...I'll Get You...
 4:06PM--leaving soon to get Dinner at Wendy's (probably) then it's on to Damascus...I'm more ready now than I was this morning...I'm hoping that's ready enough...
      10:05PM--just got home from Damascus...I'd say Lou and I were an 8 on a scale of ten...a fair amount of the time I couldn't hear my guitar, so I didn't play--which cut the number of mistakes I made down a bunch...much to my surprise, I made $25 bucks...Don't Cry No Tears went fairly well, just one boo boo that I remember...

anxiety for nuthin'

                          FRIDAY 10/12/18 8AM--I've been up for about an hour and a half and I'm 90% packed already...I see no reason to do Laundry, so I won't...I plan on stopping at Giant on the way to Linda's to get small amounts of a few things...
                   Dunno if I'm going out tonight, but I wanna go to the Music Café tomorrow afternoon...I did not get to play a single note of my own last night at the Acoustic Open Mic...apparently, I didn't make it clear to Charlie that I wanted to do a set...I DID tell him "I wanna go on between 10 and 10:30."  What did he think that meant? I'm disappointed...and relieved...So I'll set my sights on Damascus on Saturday afternoon...whether Lou goes or not--maybe...otherwise I'll be at Gumbo Ya Ya on Monday...IF there's a Gazebo Jam I MIGHT be able to go...

plenty o' songs

      WEDNESDAY 10/10/18 7:30AM--I'm pretty sure I'm NOT gonna go to Ray's show tonight...I'm gonna prepare for Charlie's acoustic open mic tomorrow night...I plan to actually rehearse a bit...which songs? THAT I dunno...when? I'm not sure...I seem to be in solo mode lately and going to see Ray would make a sideman outta me; I'm good at that, but I wanna try something different...I haven't been doing it long enough to know for sure if I like it, but I think I do...

                 And I found that other songbook--it was in my room the whole time...I don't think I need her permission, but I just asked SLR if I can use "our" arrangement of HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN...I think it was my arrangement, based on her instructions to NOT sound like the Animals' version...

               

keep on tryin'

                 SUNDAY 10/7/18 6PM--somewhat unintentionally I've begun assembling another collection of lyrics...unlike some people I know, I (hopefully) won't be reading off of them when I sing the songs...but if I need 'em, they'll be there...before I go any further I should look in the basement for the batches I've prepared in the past...getting excited/nervous about going to Gumbo Ya Ya tomorrow, not to mention Crossroads on Tuesday...

     TUESDAY 10/9/18 9:30PM--Went to Gumbo Ya Ya (Monday) AND Crossroads  (Tuesday)...played a couple of songs solo before Lou arrived...MIGHT go surprise Ray at KILLARNEY HOUSE on Wednesday...and I'm hoping to go to the OTWC on Thursday...it's easier to enjoy the solo acoustic thing when ya have the right guitar to play...or the duo/group acoustic thing too for that matter...I think the guitar deserves a hardshell case, but they seem rather expensive...

the big day?

SATURDAY 9/6/18 8AM--so my first gig (in a long LONG time) with the Oz Revue starts about seven hours from now...I'm including travel time--a detour to collect Oz in Silver Spring...the gig ends at 11:30(?) so I should be home by 1 AM Sunday...I already feel guilty about maybe not having studied enough...but I'm not gonna worry too much about that...
             I woke up at about 3AM, and fell back to sleep a little after 6--only to be awakened at 7 by Dianne leaving for Germantown...I'm considering a late Lunch, like 2PM more or less...I could (should?) start my midday nap at 11AM or Noon and be up by 2, which gives me about 45 minutes to make and eat Lunch (and load the car) before I leave for Silver Spring--in order to be there by 3:30...that should put me (and Oz) in Upper Marlboro by 4:30...I think we have to have most of our stuff set up by 6...we start at 7:30, that implies that we have time for Dinner; I believe they're serving (lotsa) food...
            I'm going to CVS to get a flu shot and buy M&Ms, a couple of bags at least...better to have 'em and not need 'em than to need 'em and not have 'em...but FIRST I'm gonna go get breakfast.
        I cleaned out the car as much as I can; it'll have to do...eBay and the Mudd bag are already in the living room...gotta bring the amp UP from the basement and Butterscotch DOWN from my room...
 SUNDAY 2AM--I 'd give the Oz Revue a 7 on a scale of 10, and that wasn't all my fault...but now I can start thinking about Monday at Gumbo Ya Ya...
  9:18AM--yep, thinking a lot about tomorrow's open mic...Lou might come and that may affect my chance to do the solo thing...we'll see...

branching out or that's more like it

       TUESDAY 10/2/18 10:09 PM--not at all sure why it happened, but I played/sang about a half a dozen songs at the Crossroads Acoustic open mic--ALONE...I'd give myself a 7 on a scale of 10...I MIGHT do that again, somewhere...

8:43AM--Jackie, the hostess was especially complimentary; it's possible she was just being polite...I have no evidence to support or disprove that theory...unless somebody took photos or shot video...

12:32PM--just talked to Oz...he says we're getting $100 each on Saturday...I can definitely live with that...not happy about possibly bringing a second passenger though...me and Oz and the equipment fills the car enough for my tastes...we'll see...Barry's doing another gig with some other guy; I dunno why...it hurts a little, but (possibly) so do some of the things I've said behind his back...

           As for those two other phone calls, I might get one of 'em done after my nap...which could be starting at about 1:30 if not sooner...

FRIDAY 10/5/18 8:30AM--going to Victor Litz later...Plan A is to come home with a different guitar...Plan B is to put Epi in the shop, however long THAT'S gonna take...I'm probably delusional, but *I* think Plan A is not completely outta the question...

4PM--Incredibly, for $40 cash, I came home with a new Fender ac/el guitar...if I'm not dreamin', it plays good, sounds good plugged in or not...I hope to bring it to Gumbo Ya Ya on Monday and of course Crossroads on Tuesday...already getting excited about THAT...and I'm happy about the way preparations for the gig with Oz are going...there may be a few songs I don't know as well as I should, will likely do some studying tonight--it might help, it might not...