interesting way to end the year

FRIDAY 9/14/18 9:49PM--on November 10th the Combustibles are scheduled to play at Clyde's in Chevy Chase...that may be my last gig with the Combustibles...about a month before that, I'm doing my first (?) gig with the Oz Revue...
SATURDAY 9:23AM--gig anxiety starting already...I'm gonna try TRY to ignore all the mistakes I'm gonna hear tonight...
 4:30PM--I guess that's the new normal--hoping the gig gets cancelled...or ends a little early...gonna TRY to record some of it...maybe I should pick and choose which songs I record...perhaps I should record our worst songs instead of our best...If I can't find a good spot to place the phone on, I won't bother...not that I need evidence to prove that the Combustibles are pretty bad...I trust my ears to tell me the Truth...and for better or worse, there are vids on youTube--but they're not easy to find...
   6:20PM- starting to work hard at being calm...it’s never easy...
 so much for being calm… I kinda blew up at Barry while we were setting up...LATER--I’ve made some recordings but I don’t know what they sound like yet…
9:45PM- another hour and a half to go… Hopefully we’ll call it an early night; I dunno what the recording will tell me, but my ears tell me we suck... it wouldn’t hurt me a bit if we left early and lost a few bucks in the process...My feet are too big for the Gizmo pedals...I only need it for certain songs that we play...I think for the Oz Revue I'll use the Gizmo in Manual Mode most of the time...
SUNDAY 12:47 AM  such a bizarre night...I wanted to go to the OTWC after my gig--and so I did...Angela was there and I met her friend Ann...I got up onstage and add a third harmony part to WHEN YOU DANCE...it was perfect of course, and Angela missed it... someone noticed I wasn't wearing my glasses...I realised I must have left them at PJs--THAT  pissed me off--a LOT...so I started to go back to hopefully get them...to my surprise they were in the front seat...then suddenly I couldn't find my phone...I must have left THAT at the OTWC...thankfully it too was hidden on the front seat...NOT losing my glasses or my phone are the only good things that happened all evening IMO...I did see Jessica, and got a hug, but really why bother...Coleen ignored me for whatever reason...and I have no f**king idea what, if anything Ann thinks about me...this has mostly been an evening to NOT remember...
Except that I verified to myself that I'm one of the best harmony singers in Montgomery County...WHEN YOU DANCE  was almost magical...I'd never sung that one with the band before..
8:54AM--I feel like got to the baseball game after the seventh inning stretch....and at that point, why bother, right? well hindsight IS 20/20...
              I listened to some of the recordings I made...the SOUND is really bad, but part of that is because of where the recording device was and part of it IMO was the lousy sound Barry came up with...my vocals seem buried to me--standard procedure...every one of us made mistakes...the good news is that hardly anyone was there to hear 'em...
           Even if I was TOTALLY independent, with my own place to live, I would still not be having a relationship with another Woman...why? mostly because I'm not even close to being handsome...and there's not thing one I can do about that...not to mention my inability to "satisfy" a Woman--hell, I can't "please" myself...that is, to me at least, a major bummer...