some friends

        One of my so called friends gave me a copy of her latest CD...I can't help but wonder why she didn't ask ME to play or sing on it...was she afraid I would wanna get paid? Maybe I'm NOT as talented as people sometimes tell me I am...
         I think it's time to find some new friends...most of mine seem to be fairly hypocritical...I can be too, I know that much...but I try not to rave about someone to their face one minute then trash them behind their back the next...in fact, I, like most Humans, probably have been less than flattering with regard to some people, behind their back...but I didn't turn around and call them a genius to their face either...
            I kinda spilled my guts to a friend a bit last night; dunno if that's gonna change anything...for all I know, it might have made things worse...some of the spilling was aimed at Stoney, while at the same time referring namelessly TO Stoney...my guess is he doesn't remember that...I even expressed the idea that *I* have Music in me as well, no more, but no less than any of my so-called friends...I do kinda wonder how much it cost Michelle to make her new EP...the packaging is not (IMO) low budget...
                   I hope I can be at least a little upbeat tomorrow night...it won't be easy...a long time ago, someone told me "If you ACT enthusiastic, you'll BE enthusiastic"...There is also the idea that we should "fake it 'til ya make it"--gonna TRY, but I make no guarantees...
          It may be pathetic, but I'm listening to my rather ancient demos, collectively packaged as BETTER OFF ALONE? I'm STILL proud of 'em...
    For the second time that I’m aware of, 3/4 of the Deerwood Dog are having a reunion--without me...that’s kind of the last straw… I’m done with Facebook; of course I’ve said that a dozen times before… This time I think it’s going to stick…the next band I go see might be a band I've never seen before...maybe even at a venue I've never been to before...
                   I wonder how long it will take before anyone notices I'm not on FB...my guess is a week, if not longer...this is probably the first time in a LONG time that I kinda wish the gig would get canceled...if I'm only coming home with $60 bucks it's ALMOST not worth all this anxiety...
              If Barry were to tell me that he doesn't care what we sound like, I would believe him...if he were to tell me that we sound as good as most other bands in our neighborhood, I would assume his hearing is flawed, quite a bit...if he were to tell me not to worry, the audience is tone deaf, I would really worry...