memory lapse OR what's my problem?

 

       FRIDAY 6/4/21 12:27PM--It took awhile, but I believe I re-figured out how to use the Gizmo...I think it will be logistically advantageous to run it on batteries (one less cable to worry about) and NOT use Memory Mode--just imagine four stomp boxes in one package...I just gotta buy the batteries, between now and Tuesday...
5PM--made my reservation for Ray's KH show on Monday June 14th--A FATHER'S HEART...
SATURDAY 6/5/21 10:40PM--I can't help but wonder why, when it comes to the local Music scene, I'm on the outside looking in...is it my Musical ability? Am I not any good? Is it my personality? I TRY to be friendly, polite, and generally nice...I guess I come across as phony...oh well...as I've said so many times, we're born alone, we die alone, we may as well do the stuff in the middle alone too, right?
5:02PM--spent 20 minutes or so with the Gizmo...I hope to be comfortable/re-familiar with it by Tuesday...I plan to take it and Butterscotch to the Main Stage Grille and plug the Gizmo directly into the PA...and I hope to do the same thing on Wednesday when/if I go sit-in with Ray...
TUESDAY 6/8/21 11:19AM--now I'm free to think about the jam at the Main Stage Grille...I want to buy batteries for the Gizmo; guess I'll have to visit CVS after my nap...I still think it will make my visit go a teeny bit smoother...and there should be a bit less cable chaos, both tonight and tomorrow afternoon...
3:52PM--I don't think I got any sleep between 1:00 and three o'clock...too excited/nervous about going to the Main Stage Grille...planning on leaving here at about 4:30 or so...I hope to be there by 5:30, which gives me about an hour to order and eat a 10" pizza...
5:30PM-made it to the Main Stage Grille by 5:30… Almost made a major directional mistake, for the second time, just like last week – the same mistake…
6:56PM-I think the only person on the sign-up sheet officially is me… That makes me very nervous…
7:21PM-I’m no longer alone here…but I’m still nervous…
7:43PM-and yet again I was terrible… I didn’t think I had the time to set up my gizmo so I didn’t… Allegedly I will be getting back up and I WILL set up my gizmo – maybe I’m being a dick about it but I really did suck this time too…
Got up again as part of the band, STILL sucked-a LOT…maybe I’m trying too hard to impress...