a new chapter?

 

       SATURDAY 5/29/21 10:07PM--starting to get excited/nervous about the Tuesday Jam at the Main Stage Grille...the first one is scheduled for the 1st of June...in the meantime, I've got other stuff to do, mostly with Dianne...I have no strong desire to get back into the MontCo Music community...
MONDAY 5/31/21 8:45PM--got word on Saturday that a Musician friend of mine had died earlier that day...Jon Reeve and I were in one band together, maybe two...I dunno what caused his passing, but I suppose it's possible that Diabetes was a factor, but I don't yet know...
       While on "vacation" in Annapolis, I suggested to Dianne that we have dinner at Pirates Cove; oh and BTW, Ray is playing there from 3-7...Dianne liked the idea...I think it was about 4PM when we got there...there was absolutely NO spaces in ANY of the parking lots...we parked up the street aways...
       He seemed to be genuinely surprised to see us...I told him I DIDN'T bring a guitar...That didn't stop him from getting me onstage as a back-up singer...Me and another friend of his (Linc Minor) sang on a couple of songs...one of which was PEACEFUL EASY FEELING...we also did one or two more...
       I spotted two women sitting at the bar...They seemed to be watching the back-up singers--one of which was me...I started doing goofy stuff, like silly handclapping...they were watching...before Dianne and I left to come home, I went over to the bar for a chat with them...the one on the left was (IMO) SUPER pretty...pleasingly plump...she reminded me of Nancy...WOW...Maybe Ray knows 'em, maybe not...Ultimately, it's best if he dosen't...UPDATE--her name might be Melissa Smith, but I dunno for sure...
            I'm still planning on going to the Main Stage Grille tomorrow, but I really wanna make sure everything works gear-wise...I think Dianne is letting me use her car...
TUESDAY 6/1/21  7:40AM--I've already started prepping for the equipment test later today, whenever that's gonna be...I'd be surprised if Dianne gets outta bed before 10AM, so I'm trying to be as quiet as I can be...which means doing pretty much nothing except watching TV...
9:40AM--gonna go warm up the amp soon, then go pick whichever guitar I'm hoping to use...
12:11PM--while testing the amp I remembered that the reverb doesn't work...I THINK a reverb pedal would cost about the same as putting the amp in the shop...so I went to Litz and got one...I ALMOST bought the wrong thing...I MIGHT have said "Delay" when I actually meant "Reverb"...in any case, I think I've got it set the way I want it...
Really worrried about messing up and getting lost on the way TO the place, never mind coming home FROM the place...worried about the whole adventure, actually...
8:55PM-I messed up way more onstage than I did driving up here… I could barely hear myself because the guy I was standing next to was so loud… If I don’t get a shot at redemption tonight, I’ll be back next week… I might be back next week anyway…
9:26PM-if this thing really ends at 10 o’clock there’s no way I’ll be getting back up… My friend David is up on stage blowing harp; he said I was going to get up with him – but I did not… Kind quite bummed, oh well-that’s Life…

   

SOMEBODY didn't have fun apparently

 

          WEDNESDAY 5/26/21 11:45PM--The sit-in with Ray started out, for me at least, to be a big mistake...Yet again my guitar sounded like shit and (IMO) my playing also sounded bad...it ended up being almost as much fun as the LCB Reunion...the guitar sound didn't get any better, but my playing improved some...and my harmonies were pretty darn good if I do say so myself...
          As for the Reunion, Ray told me that Mike's wife felt that the spotlight didn't shine on Mike as much as it should have...sheesh--he got a solo spot, but so did I...He reclaimed his position as co-pilot, which didn't bother me in the least...I got it back this evening...
             BTW, a certain female person that I hoped would be there was...She's quite a singer...I sent her a Friend request on FB, but she has yet to accept it...EDIT--she did, about two hours ago...maybe it's something I said or did...there were three other women singers in the audience, all of whom joined me Ray and Gary onstage at various times...there was also a very good guitarist who sat-in on a few numbers...I almost got lost on the way home--I missed an entrance ramp; so grateful for having GPS in my phone....and it turns out the polo shirt I thought I had left there on Saturday was actually in my "bag o' stuff" with my cables and whatnot...
       Today I find myself thinking "Who needs those MontCo 'friends'?" and starting to look forward to the jam in Woodstock (Maryland) on Tuesday June 1st...But for now, I definitely need time to recover from last night--I didn't get nearly enough sleep...
     

he shoulda said something a LOT sooner

 

                 SUNDAY 5/23/21 10PM--at some point, over the past few days, and again last night, Ray expressed the idea that *I* shoulda been his guitarist at the Ram's Head show...perhaps he shoulda said something a few weeks ago...I find it hard to believe him--just like way back when...
      MONDAY 5/24/21 I dunno when I'm gonna sit-in with Ray again...I'm sure I'll need to recuperate a little (if not more) before I can get my "normal" life back... I think the next sit-in will be at KH on Wednesday...I wish he was gonna be at Brian Boru...it may not BE closer, but it SEEMS closer...
TUESDAY 5/25/21 5:19PM--listening to some of my "studio" work...frankly it's pretty f**king good--most of it, anyway...I still say put me in a REAL studio, let someone else twiddle the knobs (the thing I'm worst at) and I'd kick some Musical ass...that must sound insanely conceited, but I think it's true...
9:02PM--got my new stomp box today, just like I was supposed to...gonna try it out in the basement on Thursday hopefully...
WEDNESDAY 5/26/21 8:48AM--having second thoughts about going to KH this afternoon...the weather looks to be far less than perfect, for one thing...whatever would happen at a sit-in with Ray would probably seem anticlimatic after the LCB Reunion...I dunno for sure, but I suspect ultimately, I'll end up going...but I'm thinking I should leave earlier than usual, especially if the weather is bad...maybe it's anethesia leftovers, but at this point in time, I feel sleepy...
              4:34PM-well I arrived at Killarney house about 10 minutes ago… A certain female person that I find fascinating visually has said on FB she’s going to be here… now I wish I'd gone back into the house and gotten my hat before I left… On the other hand it’s very hot outside and wearing a hat makes me perspire inside OR outside…  besides which wearing a hat doesn’t change your face…or yer body shape…

picking up where we left off, kinda

 

      SUNDAY 5/23/21 12:41AM--the three survivng/singing members of the LCB (and Cory, of course) did an acoustic show at Killarney House this evening...the first time we hit the three part harmonies, playing MR. BOJANGLES, I got very emotional, like I do when contributing to three part harmonies...and allegedly Ray did too...It was great to see Mike again after about 35 years or so...
                   On the rather negative side, I hardly heard my guitar for most of the night...Mike's mandolin was inaudible  as well...until someone appeared with a mandolin that has a built-in pickup in it...
            I'm pretty sure former keyboard player Dave had a gig...as for Kenny, Ray says Kenny has gone "full Qanon" meaning (I think) that he's now a far right Chump supporter...
              It didn't happen right away, but at some point, I lost my position as co-pilot to Mike...not too big of a deal, I was kinda expecting that...my first attempt at LMYR was derailed by Mike's mandolin interlude...but I got it done, complete with lyric mutation...A very innaresting and flattering idea--Mike told me that HE saw my youTube video of  MR. QUARANTINE MAN and performed it somewhere...
          For me, our harmonies made up for the sound of my guitar and some of my solos...I think Dianne took a video or two, and took pictures as well...pretty sure Gary took a video or photos, not sure which...
     Dinner was really good too...we got there at about 5:45, about 15 minutes later than I wanted to, but I think I was done eating at about 6:30-ish...Dianne is glad she went, I think...she had a pair of requests and got 'em both...
      I was expected a slightly bigger turnout, all those Fakebook friends of Ray's that keep saying they wanna come out and see him play...Actually the room was pretty full at six o'clock, but that was probably the dinner crowd...a few folks did stay until nearly the end of the show...
      I had to take over the driving TO the gig because Dianne was intimidated by the entrance ramp to Route 50 East...we switched places on the shoulder of the DC Beltway!!! and lived to tell about it...I had assumed I would drive home...*I* figured she fall asleep in the car, but she didn't...
       A female singer I know invited me to a jam run by her boyfriend(?)...Dianne wants me to go...it will be the first time I play my electric stuff...because I can't find it (IF I still have it) I'm likely gonna buy a new distortion pedal...It's less of a hassle than bringing the Gizmo...the jam is on June 1st, a Tuesday...
10:24PM--just ordered the Boss OD-2...could come as early as Tuesday...

t minus two days

 

             THURSDAY 5/20/21 11:30AM--as far as I know the LCB Reunion is still scheduled for Saturday...as I understand it, Johnny V was gonna fill the space where Wilbur would be...it turns out that he has a gig on the same day...which makes me THE lead guitarist...I'm OK with that, at this point in time anyway...allegedly Mike the bass player has taken up the mandolin--and given up the Bass...so I dunno if we have a Bass player or not...I'm not sure if we have a drummer either...I suspect that Ray is more bummed than he's letting on...
           "Auxillary band member" Cory hasn't been out much lately if at all...I think he's worried about COVID--ya can't wear a mask when yer playing harmonica...I still think it's kinda sad that he (possibly) still believes he was a member of the band...Ray says he hasn't heard from Kenny (the drummer) for some unknown reason...I strongly suspect it's gonna be a weird gig...
4:25PM--took inventory of my gig bag...I've got enough batteries, two long cables, one short one...Got the Chorus and EQ pedals, mic and mic cable...I think that's all the gig bag stuff...my mic stand is in the living room and my acoustic is in my bedroom...
10:30PM--I hope I'm wrong, but I kinda got the feeling that the LCB Reunion is gonna be anti-climatic...it might not be as much fun as a normal sit-in...
10:42PM--I keep forgetting to mention...my looks have hurt my Musical career...I can't help the way I look...Generally, I can't pose like a rock star...although the LCB pose, from a long LONG time ago, is a "sullen Rock Star" pose...I look terrible though; that bushy perm and too much beard...UGH...
FRIDAY 5/21/21 8:48AM--getting excited about whatever's gonna happen tomorrow evening...I think Dianne has a plan for the first part of the day...I think we're going to Unique, early...and I think we're leaving here for KH at five o'clock--*I* would rather leave a bit earlier, because we're having dinner there...
SATURDAY 5/22/21 3:42PM--I called KH to check on the reservation...I think it eveaporated or some reason...oh well...
4:12PM--approximately three hours until showtime and I'm really nervous...I don't like that, BTW...I bet that Kenny won't be there...Dave has a gig tonight I think, as do Tish and Johnny V...I'm assuming Nellie will be there, possibly with one of Ray's sisters...

I guess I can't help myself

 

      TUESDAY 5/18/21 3:13PM--I'm not 100% sure I want to, but I'm leaving for Severna Park shortly, to go sit-in with Ray at Brian Boru...I would like it if Carolyn showed up, but I don't expect her to...I hope to be home by 10PM...it's likely I'll have a burger for dinner...
10:54PM--I got home at 9:57...I had a good time, a good dinner...I had slightly less of a good time when we completely unplugged and moved inside...*I* couldn't hear my guitar, maybe the audience could, I don't know...and my EQ pedal died, in the same way my chorus pedal did--the battery clip broke...so I'm going to Victor Litz tomorrow, maybe when the cleaning ladies get here...
       Ray says he knows it's my birthday tomorrow...he says he saw it on Flakebook...maybe...he musta seen it before I made my FB page a little more private, which was, I think, months ago...
WEDNESDAY 5/19/21 7:55AM--I don't really like turning 66, but there's nothing I can do to change that...except try to lie to myself, which likely won't be happening...the plan is to come home from the COVID test, have lunch, try to catch up on the three or four hours sleep I missed...when the cleaning ladies get here, at approximately 3PM, I'll go to Victor Litz to get a high "E" string and a new EQ pedal...at some point, I need to o to Michaels to pick up something Dianne ordered...why she can't get it herself is a mystery to me...
8:57AM--turns out she can and she will, go to Michaels that is...
11:33AM-- a very early Lunch, because I expect to have pizza for dinner...really hope to be napping before one o' clock, if not sooner...my blanket is in the wash...
3:52PM--went to Litz, got the GE-7 and a high "E" string...went to Giant, got soda, bread and deviled ham...I suspect I'll be in bed before Midnight, if not sooner...
11:20PM--I guess I'll be up PAST Midnight...I think *I* will be the only lead guitarist at the (not quite) LCB Reunion...I'm ok with that, at this point anyway...

apparently he feels like I do

 

           FRIDAY 5/14/21 5PM--so today I got a message from Ray saying "You can take a few days off until the LCB reunion. The folks that are doing the show with me on the 23rd are going to play together as much as we can between now and then." I'm pretty sure he means Tish and "Johnny V"...why he felt it necessary to keep their identities from me is a mystery...The secrecy is what bothers me...Maybe he's not quite the changed man I thought he was...Maybe he forgot that I plan to be there on the 23rd; whoever's playing with him, I'll find out then...weird...He doesn't know that I was gonna take a few days off anyhow... Maybe Ray thought less of my guitar playing than he indicated...that seems likely, *I* didn't think it was that great... SATURDAY 5/15/21 10:15AM--Ray mentioned this evening's Killarney House gig on Fakebook..."It's gonna be a big time!!" To which Gary (Bass player) added "It's gonna be huge..." It's feels so good to be remembered (sarcasm).I'm seriously considering NOT going to his show at the Ram's Head...and the LCB reunion definitely doesn't excite me anymore...see, he hasn't changed all THAT much... 4:46PM--I suddenly really wanna go to Ray's gig tonight...but I won't...I don't wanna seem pathetic to anybody, even though I AM pathetic...nonetheless it hurts to feel like I'm being excluded...the show goes from 7-11 which leads me to think it will be inside...I think it will be crowded enough "onstage" if I DON'T go...Ray doesn't need TWO lead guitarists (Vengrouskie and me) and my harmony parts would likely be buried by whoever else would be singing onstage...I wouldn't drive that far just to be shoved into the background...maybe that sounds like Ego, but I don't care...fuckit, I'll stay home, if nothing else I'll save gas... 6:49PM--I think I'm gonna "retire" again...I'm OK with that...peoples' feelings get hurt all the time, right? I think the LCB reunion will be my last show, for the foreseeable future anyway... It's really REALLY REALLY depressing to think about how much time I've wasted, thinking I had friends...how much time I've wasted playing Music in Montgomery County...sometimes I wonder what woulda happened to me had I stayed in Glen Burnie...without Dianne in my Life, I'd probably be dead by now...just another suicide.... 9PM--sooo tempted to announce my final (?) retirement on Fakebook, then I remember--no one cares...the (not exactly) LCB reunion is next Saturday...I wish it was behind me already... 11PM--I guess Ray's Saturday night gig at Killarney House is over--maybe, once he gets going, he's hard to stop... MONDAY 5/17/21 8;35PM--mosly because I'm having a medical procedure performed on Monday morning, I'm NOT going to Annapolis to see Ray on Sunday evening/night...he can keep the money, he allegedly needs it rather badly...Carolyn is scheduled to be there...that may actually be another reason NOT to go, as in what would be the point, right?...telling Ray I won't be there will be really hard...he just announced the (almost) LCB Reunion on Fakebook...I guess I'll tell him at that show...

will it make a difference?

 

         MONDAY 5/10/21 10:12AM--put new lighter guage strings on the acoustic...took about 30 minutes...I can feel a slight difference when I bend them...I hope they'll be stretched by Tuesday afternoon...
5:46PM--almost itchin' to play the acoustic, but Dianne is still at work...getting excited about tomorrow's sit-in with Ray, assuming it's still on...
TUESDAY 5/11/21 8:36AM--due to Ray getting sick, tonight's sit-in is cancelled...still hoping to go to Killarney House tomorrow...probably too soon to know for sure if THAT one is still a "go"...frankly, I can take it or leave it...
10:23AM--Ray has cancelled the KH show as well...at least I think that's what "See you next week" means...he wasn't just talking to me, this was on Flakebook...he was talking to everybody...
WEDNESDAY 5/12/21 9:29AM--now Ray says he's gonna do the Killarney House gig...I'm hoping to go...we'll see...I suspect Dianne isn't happy about it...she's still pressuring me to "do stuff" with regards to my health...IF I make the phone call I plan on making, regardless of the result, my reward just might be a trip to Davidsonville...
5:00PM-I thought Ray started at 5:30; the venue says he starts at six, and his  Flakebook  post says 6:30- go figure…he texted me that he was running late...
7:20PM-Not a good night yet-for me at least…
11:01PM--the night got better...Me singing LONG MAY YOU RUN was the last song of the night...the members of the audience--approximately 2 people, friends of Ray's, were shocked that I could sing a song pretty much by myself...I came home with $20 bucks, which was the cost of Dinner and the tip...
THURSDAY 5/13/21 11PM--two or three sit-ins with Ray and I'm back to feeling musically inadequate...not sure if I'm gonna do anymore, except for the LCB reunion...and NO, it's not about money...

I don’t like it, but it's my fault

 

                        SATURDAY 5/8/21 3:48PM-The Pritchard Music Academy/store is supposed to be open right now, but they’re not…it’s not 5 o’clock yet is it? What’s the deal? So I’ll have to go to Victor Litz  to get a mic stand… I guess I could go on my way to the podiatrist Monday or on the way back from the podiatrist…
             As for going to see Tish and Johnny V tonight, I’ve decided not to go… Butch and Vera aren’t going that’s one reason I’m not going to go… there are other reasons; there are probably going to be people there that I don’t wanna see as well as people I would like to see…oh well...and if I can save five dollars (plus drinks) by staying home, I’ll do it…
         I might try to put new strings on the acoustic tomorrow morning...kinda nervous/excited about that...I have plans (*I* didn't make 'em) for some of the rest of the day, and I don't wanna wait until Monday 'cos I'm gonna be a teeny bit busy, so Sunday morning it is, hopefully...
SUNDAY 5/9/21 9:30AM--So Ray has, to a considerable degree, has had success doing what I wanted to do, when he and I attended broadcasting school nearly fifty years ago...if THAT'S not a reason to be depressed, I don't know what is...looks like I'm gonna have to put the new strings on tomorrow after all...the roomie is still upstairs sleeping...
10:21AM--and she's not up yet...maybe I coulda had the strings on by now...oh well, such is Life, right?
11:24AM--hope to be in the shower in about ten minutes...
12:20PM--I'm clean and clean shaven...dunno when we'll be back, hopefully before five o'clock...
5:46PM--didn't quite make it home before 5, but we're home now and that's what matters...no nap today, I could be in bed before 11PM...ADDENDUM--stayed up until Midnight

it's only a dream, right?

 

       FRIDAY 5/7/21 9:07AM--last night I dreamt that me and a friend or two or three were waiting backstage somewhere to play a gig... Michelle was one of the friends...suddenly I noticed that one by one the people I knew were being replaced by total strangers… I realized that my so-called friends had gathered somewhere else and I was left behind – that actually is what reality feels like right now, with regards to playing music that is…
                 I told Dianne that for a couple of reasons, I probably wouldn't go to any Ray sit-ins that take place on Saturday or Sunday...the main one being that the weekend is the time we usually do stuff...in addition, it would be less wear and tear on the car AND me...it would save gas as well...
1PM--stopped by Butch's house gave him back his mic stand...I guess I'll have to buy one; I can't find the one I thought I had...I didn't like it that much anyway, but it was my only choice at the time...Butch and I talked for quite awhile....I might not be the only MoCo musician who's no longer a Stoney fan...Butch told me about some lengthy melt down that Stoney posted on Flakebook--on the FULL HOUSE BAND'S Page...the band broke up at that point...I knew Stoney & Sue were Chumpsters, but *I* was able to ignore that...allegedly he insulted more than a few people, including Butch's wife Vera...
          Even though I'm suddenly feeling a teeny bit left out of RAY'S Musical Family, I might go see his friends Tish and Johnny V (the band Dirty Soul actually) at the Elks Lodge in Rockville--I think I can afford $5 bucks...we'll see...Butch told me he and Vera might go...at least then I'd have someone to (possibly) talk to...
4:42PM-I dreamt I was in a Music store watching a Jeff Beck documentary--while holding THREE drumsticks...I was apparently trying to decide which size sticks to get...NO IDEA what that means, though I do fantasize about switching back...even if I could buy a drumset, where in the f**k could I put it?
9:16PM--back to feeling a bit left out of the loop...with regard to going out tomorrow night, there's a 50% chance of rain...I hope it doesn't...

just like way back when, but not really

 

    TUESDAY 5/4/21 11:13PM--so the sit-in with Ray is history...the only bummers were 1) I had to make an Emergency stop to answer Nature's call and 2) somebody stole my M&Ms mask...I only took it off to sing and drink a soda...Ray says he wants me to, if possible, play ALL his shows with him...I think there are approximately 27 shows left, although Ray says it's nearly fifty......if I make $20 per show, that's about $540 bucks...HE says I'll make MORE than $20 per show...and if it IS fifty shows, that's $1000 bucks...I could use it...Dianne says I could use HER car for some of the trips...that's a stunning idea...she's worried about wear and tear on mine...I'm a bit concerned about that too, but I'd like to think there would be warning signs before something breaks down...
          As far as tonight's gig goes--my guitar playing wasn't so great IMO, but my harmonies were...I told myself if I wasn't sonically satisfied tonight, I'd bring "eBay" and my amp to the next sit-in...having second thoughts about that...I suspect whoever is in charge would see the amp and instantly get concerned about the volume level...and of course, using just the acoustic gear is a lot less hassle...
         Although I resisted the idea at the time, Ray wanted ME to sing a song...Looking back, I suppose I coulda done LONG MAY YOU RUN...maybe next time...
WEDNESDAY 5/5/21 12:38AM--suddenly, I'm actually thinking of other songs I might be able to pull off alone...CLOWN, for instance...
9:32AM--I THOUGHT Ray was playing at Killarney House tonight...it's Pirates Cove...it feels kinda far away, but as of now, I plan on going...If I don’t go to Pirates Cove tonight I’ve wasted a fair amount of anxiety for no reason… I really don’t want to use any part of the DC beltway if I can help it… I think I’m going to try an alternate route…
11:47PM--I ended up using the DC Beltway after all...there were no major traffic problems...I left Gburg at about 3:40 or so and arrived at Pirates Cove at approximately 4:30...I sat in my car and ate the other half of the sub I'd gotten from Jersey Mike's at lunchtime...I made to their Men's room with seconds to spare...my guitar playing was OK IMO...the sound was inconsistent...like it's always been, I wanna/need to hear me more than I need to hear Ray and he wants/needs to hear himself more than he wants to hear me...what went surprisingly well for me was my vocals/harmonies...Without prompting, Ray complimented me on my ability to blend, which is something I belatedly realized myself awhile back...Generally, the audience seemed to like us...I came home with $20 dollars...I'm absolutely OK with that...If what he has told me is true, he needs the money way more than *I* do...I didn't do any songs myself and I'm OK with THAT too...As far as I'M concerned my next sit-in will be 5/11 at Brian Boru...I MIGHT go to Killarney House the next day...it's too soon to know for sure...I thought I would make it to 1AM, but no...
5:30PM--recovering from two back to back low-key gigs...I think it's mostly the "commute" that has me feeling beat up...the plan is to go out again on Tuesday...wanna put the light gauge strings on, maybe it will take a bit less muscle to play a solo... 
8:44PM--I guess it's paranoia, but I wonder if I'M the reason Ray friends don't go to the same shows *I* do...except for Gary who goes to every gig, to play Bass...Actually, I think he might be a much better guitarist than me... Tish seems to be making a big deal outta Ray joining her and Vengrouskie at what Ray called HER gig...allegedly it's NOT a Ray gig going on this evening in Crofton...it's a Tish and Johnny V gig...that's where she lives, I think...

step two--that's done too

 

           

               MONDAY 5/3/21 12:17PM well it took a few minutes but I tested my equipment, specifically the new Chorus pedal... it works...and so do the cables...
5:17PM--stopped off at Pritchard Music Academy, bought a 2nd set of acoustic strings--the guage I wanted in the first place...Only a little nervous about the sit-in tomorrow, more excited than nervous--at this point in time at least...
9:35PM--I believe all my Musical gear is ready...there's been a sudden change of plan regarding Ray's solo show at the Ram's Head on 5/23 (the day after the LCB reunion)--Dianne doesn't wanna go because it's on a Sunday...at least it will still be light out at 7-ish, finding the venue worries me...guess I'll need the GPS on my phone...
TUESDAY 5/4/21 11:17AM--I renewed my driver's license--a long long story...now I think I can focus on the sit-in w/Ray...I think everything I'll need is ready, all I gotta do is load the stuff into the car...the only thing I don't have is serenity...oh well...