it's NOT just me

    SUNDAY 4/28/19 8:30AM--last night at the ACME Band gig, Lee (the female singer) made an unsolicited comment about her desire that the Band try to get closer to the record's arrangement...I was shocked...but now I know I can trust my ears...and there was a bit of conflict with Phil the Bass Player over my position onstage relative to my amplifier... I won that disagreement, but we're gonna try switching my position with Geoff's (the other guitarist) which I think will turn out to be a great idea...Geoff seems to like his amp next to him rather than behind him and there's a corner of the stage that is the perfect spot it...
           The plastic crate I used as an amp stand worked well enough...I felt that there wouldn't be room enough for the amp stand I normally use...It was a bit crowded on that side of the stage...we put a monitor on that piece of the stage--I don't think it was working, ever...
           In spite of the presence of the tablet, I fumbled the lyrics to TAKE IT EASY...I made it thru YOU MAY BE RIGHT, but just barely...I didn't let the (entire) Band's performance get me down and that's still the case...
TUESDAY 4/30/19 12:45PM--for various reasons, the Combustibles might not be practicing at all this week...and that's fine by me...if we rehearsed every night this week, we still wouldn't sound as good as *I* want us to...
WEDNESDAY 5/1/19 4:30PM--I was sitting on the fence with regard to going to the Marsh-led open mic at Hershey's; I hadn't prepared any solo stuff... then Lou said HE was going...that settles it...Lou&Scott are back...I'm not the biggest Marsh fan, but they might not be the biggest Scooter fans...and I'm not sure it's a good idea to go out tomorrow night, knowing I'm getting up Friday morning before Dawn to take Dianne to Dulles...
11PM--so I went to Hershey's...I would say Lou and Scott were a 9 out of a possible 10...it was an ok evening socially as well as Musically...

it felt like a LOTTA work

              FRIDAY 4/26/19 11:06AM--it took me the better part of three hours, but I mailed the recording I made last night at the OTWC to myself, and downloaded it into my iTunes Library...the hard part was editing the 20 minute recording into five separate songs...so now I have a choice of listening to each performance by itself or the whole 20 minute thing...I didn't quite mean to but I downloaded it into my phone...one of my choices is to send it back to the Voice Recorder, which is where it came from in the first place...At some point I should,  for what seems like (but isn't) the umpteenth time, create a CD of it in order to preserve it for posterity--even though the band was not as good as it coulda been...especially me...there's at least one  video; I wish I could extract the audio from THAT...but *I* dunno how...
    SATURDAY 4/27/19 4:40 PM--gonna be leaving for the gig in about an hour and a half...gonna try really REALLY hard to act enthusiastic...
6:40PM- I arrived at Lahinch a bit sooner than I thought I would, mostly because I didn’t get lost… No one else from the band is here yet...I  might try recording some of what the band does;

who's opinion matters the most?

         SUNDAY 4/21/19 9:35PM--so if *I* think something sucks isn't so good, be it a song or a band or an individual Musician or something *I* am playing or singing, should anyone else's opinion matter? I can't for the Life of me understand how any other members of the bands I'm officially in can believe that the bands themselves are "pretty good"...The 4th Thursday Band (the "unofficial" band) is better than either of them and we don't ever practice...I'm still hoping we can become an official Band, but it hasn't happened yet...as for my performances last night, the harmony singing was better than the Bass playing...and some of the Bass playing wasn't half bad...
             MONDAY 4/22/19 4:34PM--Jackie is hosting at Hershey's on Wednesday...I hope to be there, in what capacity I have no idea--spectator or participant, who knows? Jeff Jones is throwing himself a birthday party...why does that NOT surprise me? NEWS FLASH!--I can't go see Jackie, ACME has practice...now I'm miserable again...maybe between now and Wednesday, practice will get cancelled...it wouldn't make any difference if we practiced or not, the band would still stink...
WEDNESDAY 4/24/19 7:31AM--practice with the ACME band hasn't been cancelled yet, but I'm still hoping...I plan to put new strings on "eBay" later today, if not later this morning, after breakfast...
9:18AM--so now "eBay" has new strings on it...I'll likely use it at the ACME practice so that the strings will be broken in for Thursday night's open mic gig...
THURSDAY 4/25/19 6:36AM--I've decided to just keep my head down and my mouth shut with regard to the ACME band's low standards...or the Combustibles' low standards for that matter...if an audience likes the Music that's all that matters...(sigh) I wish I truly believed that...I think it's Dave who seems to have his head in the clouds the most, with Geoff running a close second...very frustrating...
5PM--I was asleep at 2:30 when I remembered that I wanted to work with The Gizmo to get ready for tonight's open mic...and THEN I remembered the load-in!!!  I managed to get to the OTWC before 3:30...and back home by about 4:30 or so...Barnaby agreed with me that I should just keep my head down and keep quiet (and, I said to myself, take the money) so that's what I'm gonna try to do...
10PM- well I can’t get the sound out of my equipment that I normally would get-that sucks... and while I sang my one solo number very well, I didn’t get a chance to do the schtick that I had planned because I was wrestling with the equipment to get a good sound…  I will be glad when this night is over...I knew it was not gonna be my night when I left eBay in the car and brought Butterscotch in by mistake...and I left eBay’s whammy bar at home...and no, whammy bars are not always interchangeable...I think there’s a bit more than an hour to go...

I did it!

    FRIDAY 4/19/19 6:38AM--I wasn't sure until I got home from the Grateful Jam, but I think I'm glad I went...I dunno if anyone else is, but I don't care a whole lot--a little, but only so much...not a surprise, but it took me a little while to relax...I guess I was relaxed enough at some point to assert myself as a guitarist...but I tried not to be a stage hog... and I don't think I was...I'm glad I went...as for tonight, who knows? will likely stay in...tomorrow night? dunno yet, but probably...
       SUNDAY 4/21/19 12:02AM--it was inevitable, I went to the OTWC...actually considered getting Dessert to go and coming home...but, sensing or just plain knowing how I was feeling, Tom and Lauren asked me to play Bass behind them for one song...it took me most of the song to get comfortable and figure out how to handle a FIVE string Bass, but I did...Jeff Jones got me (and Kennedy Wright) to sing harmonies behind him...me and Jeff did an ELO song that IMO absolutely kicked ass, but I might be the only person that thinks that...I wish I had as much chutzpah as some people--*I* woulda picked up JT's guitar and played behind some folks...oh well...I hope my falsetto doesn't fail me next Thursday, it served me well last night...in addition, I sang harmony behind Rob...I even played Bass behind him on one of HIS songs...I felt better when I left than when I got there...I don't expect that feeling to last too far beyond today...there are LOTS (dozens?) of pix from last night's show, but (as far as I can tell) none that I would wanna keep...
6:38PM--It may be time to start focusing on next Thursday's open mic...I think the only guitar solos I need to learn are the ones in SHAPES OF THINGS and JUST MY STYLE...I don't foresee any problems--yet...

I wanted an omen, I got one

    THURSDAY 4/18/19 3:55PM--I got a Messenger message from the other Geoff--the other ACME guitarist and Dead Head reminding me about the Jam tonight at El Golfo--that feels like an omen to me, saying "go to El Golfo"...so that's where I'm going first...how long I stay isn't really up to me, it's kinda up to the Universe...
7:06PM-I made it to El Golfo...trying NOT to have any expectations of any kind...It’s too early to know for sure, but I don’t think I’ll be making this a regular thing...
7:40PM- my first (only?) set is over… It went well enough I guess...there are indications that I might NOT be finished...and conceited though it sounds, I just might be the best guitarist here tonight... I think if I stay until the end, I could make it to the OTWC by 11PM if I wanna...mixed feelings about the level of sonic perception some of these people have...they don’t seem to be all that professional/experienced...I will never EVER believe that MY ears are in any way defective...apart from the tinnitus, that is...
    The smart thing to do (probably) is just go home after this-we’ll see...OR I could go to the OTWC just to hang out...golly, Geoff sure likes to noodle through the lead vocal-even when his wife is the lead vocalist...I think if anyone is in charge, it’s her...referring to the level of ability I’ve heard tonight, I kinda forgot it’s an open mic as much as it is a jam...still dunno what the difference is...

teeny tiny baby steps at first

      TUESDAY 4/16/19 3:30PM--actually spent about an hour in the BR1180 Lab...I didn't get a whole lot done, but I got a little bit of something done...I don't think I'm smart enuff to figure out the unit's rhythm machine; but I wanna be...
              WEDNESDAY 4/17/19 3:48 PM--just spent another hour or so in the Lab, taking slightly bigger steps...I laid down a (even by MY standards) primitive drum track, keyboard track and Bass guitar track to the instrumental I came up with...nothing fancy, next to no processing, just laid 'em down...it only lasts a couple of minutes...after a certain amount of rehearsal (a few weeks worth) I hope to go all the way thru it...
   7:41PM--I kinda wanna go to the Grateful Dead Jam at El Golfo tomorrow night...If I don't I'll wish I had...it goes until 10...I could be at the OTWC before 11...or, if there's gonna be a lot of sittin' around, I'll split before Ten o'clock... I won’t know if it’s gonna be a waste of my time until I go  check it out… If I like it, then I’ll be back; if I don’t like it I won’t be back;  it’s as simple as that… I’m sure I will be going over the pros and cons in my head from now until dinner time tomorrow… If I’m going to go to El Golfo, I’m going to leave the house at 5:30... I think what I’ll do is send an email to one of my ACME bandmates who tends to go to the Jam regularly... I need to know if the Jam  itself is held every week, or once a month or every other week or whenever...
10:37PM- I’ve been told that the next Grateful Dead Jam will be sometime in June… I don’t wanna wait that long to find out if I would enjoy myself, so I’m planning to go tomorrow  night...
THURSDAY 4/18/19 6:30AM--on the other hand, the "Grateful Jam" is not my comfort zone; but that actually may be a reason to go...I need a sign from, well, somewhere...of course, knowing there is supposed to be one in June (on a Sunday) may be a reason to go to OTWC instead...unless that's just a convenient cop-out...sheesh...wherever I'm gonna go, I'm gonna warm up first, guitar-wise...

so it's NOT gonna happen?

             SUNDAY 4/14/19 9:45 PM--it turns out that the electric twelve string is barely worth saving, unless I have lotsa money at my disposal--and I don't...another dream shot down...I should be used to that...
            MONDAY 4/15/19 8:30AM--apparently I'm not nearly as talented as I've thought I was, especially as a harmony singer...I already KNOW I'm not the best guitarist 'round these here parts, but I thought that when it comes to harmonies damn near nobody did it better...Stoney seems to think Brian does 'em better...he's as good as me perhaps, but better? I'm not so sure about that...and he has a shorter fuse than I do, a non-music related quality I know but I still don't think that's a good thing...

nice day to start again

       SUNDAY 4/14/19 11:23AM--making my first tentative baby steps toward recording again...I came up with a keyboard piece that I like...I'm thinking it will be an instrumental, with a melody provided (most likely) by guitar...I don't EVEN know what to call it yet...by I recorded it on my phone...I hope to upload (?) the recording into my iTunes Library...after I've charged my phone at least a little...
            An acquaintance of mine is going to work on my  electric 12 string guitar...after which I hope to start using it more than I have been, which is not at all...he doesn’t live nearby, but I don’t have anything else going on that I know of...tomorrow I will buy a set of strings for it, which I can get from Victor Litz... I admit that I don’t exactly know what I’m going to use it for, but the important thing is that it’s there if I want to use it... maybe I can use the gig bag that I currently use for my bass guitar for the Strat XII instead...  I think with all the rhythm guitar work that I do in the ACME band, it will come in handy... and like I often say, “it’s better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it...”
4:38PM--I recorded the keyboard piece on the phone, uploaded it into iTunes, trimmed the sloppy ending...set up my Library so that it WON'T automatically play the next song...and I'm supposed to be at Eric's house in about two hours...
    There's a wine store in the Kentlands, they have live acoustic acts fairly often...they starting an acoustic open mic on Thursday April 18th...maybe I'll prepare something...

 

a bit better than any band I've been in lately

       FRIDAY 4/12/19 11AM--maybe it's an omen that I'm watching Poverty Ridge videos, I'm not 100% sure I'm going out tonight...I WANT to, but stuff happens, right? For instance, it looks like I have to accompany Dianne to her WW meeting after which, we're going to Sugarloaf...judging from the sound of the videos, Poverty Ridge is better than either the Combustbles or the ACME Band...maybe not "way" better, but better...I do like their arrangement of  PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC--they slowed it down, and suddenly there was a groove...most of the videos are short, but that's the way club owners like 'em...I don't know if the vids are LIVE, I doubt it...they don't sound live to me...their harmonies were better when Brian was playing drums in the band, as far as I can hear...LATER--there are real live vids on youTube...and the band is, like I said, a bit better than the Combustibles and/or the ACME Band...and sometimes "a bit" is good enough...
               And there are vids of the Sandra Dean band on youTube as well...that band seems to be a LOT better than the bands I'm in...and that's really really depressing...I know I'm NOT the best local guitarist, but I think I'm the best male harmony singer in Montgomery County...but that's a secret--unfortunately...
SATURDAY 4/13/19 5:44PM--at this point in time, Dianne and I are going to the OTWC for Dinner and to check out The Sandra Dean Band...why I suddenly have a tummy ache is a mystery to me...
6:30PM--I think I'll be fine by the time we get to the Café, somewhere around eight o'clock...
10:47PM--it seems like every time Dianne and I have gone out to Dinner and to see a band, we've ended up fighting about something...tonight was no exception...For numerous reasons, we inadvertently stayed until 10:00, which was how long I hoped to stay in the first place...
          The Sandra Dean Band was as good as I thought they'd be...In my opinion, the tempos were a teeny bit fast...otherwise the playing was very good...the vocals sounded quite muffled where we were sitting, but that has nothing to do with the musicianship...and I liked the (first) set song list...the place was packed, and then some...there must be a reason for that...we had to wait quite awhile for a table...My next gig is with the ACME Band, in two weeks, not counting the 4th Thursday Open Mic, which is less than a week away...
              It's depressing to me that a band that only plays once a month and doesn't practice sounds at least a little better than either of the two bands I'm in, bands that DO practice and play out, at least a little...VERY depressing...
SUNDAY 4/14/19 10:42AM- I don’t feel like doing much of anything today, physically or emotionally but--and acquaintance of mine is going to work on my  electric 12 string guitar...after which I hope to start using it more than I have been, which is not at all...he doesn’t live nearby, but I don’t have anything else going on that I know of...tomorrow I will buy a set of strings for it, which I can get from Victor Litz... I think with all the rhythm guitar work that I do in the ACME band, it will come in handy... and like I often say, “it’s better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it...”

the problems with the Acme Band according to me...

         THURSDAY 4/11/19 6:25AM--For starters, harmonies are nearly non-existent...I think both Lee(the girl singer) and Dave are aware of the concept of harmony; there were flashes of it last night...and Phil the Bass player throws 'em in every now and then...I threw in some in whatever song it was and suddenly there was 3-part harmony in the air...I think we can fix the harmony problem...Geoff occasionally noodles thru the vocals, I dunno why--but I don't like that...If I had the power to drop ONE song, from our repertoire it would be ROLLIN' IN THE DEEP...
           And Geoff, joined by Phil, tends to tease, er, somebody (Dave? me?) with bits and pieces of Grateful Dead songs...that has become rather annoying and it IS hard to NOT join in...it IS rather unprofessional I suppose...but it makes me wanna go to the Grateful Dead jam hosted by El Golfo every now and then--next Thursday for instance...Geoff goes, I suspect Phil does too...
        I'm planning to go see a band tomorrow night, even though there's a $10 cover charge...it's a trio...I have trouble understanding why a band would only have ONE guitarist...I think there should be either another guitarist and/or a keyboard player...As a guitarist, I couldn't be in a trio--my solo style has LOTSA space between the notes...in fact, I'm not sure even a Dead jam between me and Geoff would be a good idea...Garcia has been a big influence on my playing, that's especially true of Geoff...but I still plan on going, if/when it happens...
      9:03AM--I bought a mic clip when I bought the mic stand...it seemed to be a bad purchase...it was too loose to hold the mic in the position I needed it to be in...apparently, all it needed was a certain screw to be as tight as possible...I think it is now...at some point today, I need to re-pack the Mudd bag...I'm not sure if it's big enough to hold everything I need it to hold, it's all crammed in there now...it's a mess...and I may have added a screw driver or two to my equipment list...as far as I know, I won't need any of my electric stuff until April 27th, with the ACME Band...
9:26AM--like I told someone last night, it's tough being the new kid in school in his Senior year--I haven't had three years to make friends with anyone...and I suspect they're wary of me as well...of course, I've been feeling friendless lately anyhow...
5:18PM--I wanna go see a local band, I just haven't decided who where or when...I'm leaning toward seeing the Sandra Dean Band at the OTWC on Saturday...and it doesn't matter to me whether or not Stoney is in the Band...he's not in any of the pix I saw-- Jeff Karn is (surprise) but that's probably where I'm gonna go anyway...
5:52PM--saw a couple of vids featuring Scarlet Begoniaz, a female trio (?) that seemingly plays nothing but Dead songs...one of the women is Geoff's girlfriend or wife...IMO they're just ok...I refuse to believe that my ears are in any way broken...if my ears tell me a Musician or group is not all that good, I'll believe them...

still don't quite feel like playing Music--but I will

        MONDAY 4/8/19 5:21PM--I don't think I'm going to GYY tonight, pretty sure in fact...If I'm gonna use "eBay" for Wednesday's gig, I need to put new strings on it...which is easier than putting new strings on
Butterscotch...I think there's a (no longer) new set of strings in my room...Gonna try to put 'em on tomorrow...It would be a major bummer to break a string on Butterscotch...hopefully, I won't break ANY strings, on either guitar...
TUESDAY 4/8/19 11:54AM--got a mic stand, clip and two .010 strings...started to get at least a little excited about tomorrow's gig...I've got fair amount of prep work to do--tomorrow...Dianne is working from home today, which, IMO, limits what I can do around the house...
4:04PM--I guess I'm not too limited...I put the high E string on "Ebay", albeit with a tiny bit of difficulty...checked the strings on both guitars, they all seem to be somewhat fresh...I think the set list I got at our last practice is up to date...
5:31PM--wrestling with Google Maps, trying to figure out how to get, first, to a McDonald's for Dinner, then onto El Golfo...I need to decide, then put it writing...I'm more than a little familiar with the neighborhood that the McDonald's in in...but El Golfo? never been there, or anywhere nearby...I don't think...
WEDNESDAY 4/10/19 9AM--starting to pack for the gig...taking equipment inventory, assembled the mic stand...getting nervous--about playing the gig and journey to the gig...I wanna be at El Golfo by 5:30...the plan is to go to McDonald's for Dinner...gotta allow time for that...
10:47AM--just heard from Barry, he has to cancel Saturday's Combustibles gig...turns out I'm losing $80--that's a big bummer...but I'll squeak by...kinda sorry I printed the set list...
12:45PM--really getting nervous now...but I'm gonna try to take a nap anyway...gonna take a Xanax before I leave...
6:20PM-VERY very nervous  and feeling rather lonely…
7:50PM-we ARE as bad as the Combustibles...some of that is my fault...but it’s still depressing...
10:53PM--it's sure is weird getting home from a gig before 11:00, in the middle of the week, but that's what happened...despite some anxiety about finding my way home, I made it...
11:01PM--dunno if it was nerves or what (I forgot to take a Xanax), but *I* was plenty bad myself tonight, never mind the whole band...and both the band leader and the female vocalist said that they thought the gig went well...sheesh...I think I messed up the lyrics to TAKE IT EASY, and the tablet was right there in front of me--open!
11:30PM--a lot can happen in a week, but I'm looking forward to the Dead Jam at El Golfo, now that I know how to get there...

don't be so hasty

                THURSDAY 4/4/19 9AM--I've been thinking about trading my Yamaha bass in for something that's easier to play...it's never been outta the house...I should go somewhere to an open mic and be a Bass Player, just to determine if it is in fact, hard to play...Usually after a few minutes my fingers and arm start to hurt...I don't know what it sounds like thru an amp...on the other hand, I still don't feel like playing Music...still expecting to stay in tonight...
5:32PM--I've been thinking...IF I see the "right" Bass at the flea market, I'm liable to buy it...then I'll just sell or trade the one I have now back to Litz--cash might be nice, but I think store credit would be more advantageous financially to me...we'll see...
FRIDAY 4/5/19 6:08PM--the hastiness continues...I bought a book on Amazon that I didn't want THAT much...I had it for a day or so then returned it...hopefully I'll get a refund, in which case the CSNY bio I bought will not have cost almost $30 bucks...although so far I think it would be worth that much...
SATURDAY 4/6/19 12:50PM--finally, some good news--practice has been cancelled!!!
9:26PM--listening to some of my "joins"...some of them are f**king phenomenal...
ADDENDUM--There was a beat up stringless bass guitar at the flea market this morning,--I passed on it
SUNDAY 4/7/19 5:16 PM--I guess the Gazebo Jam happened today...I wanted to go, and I didn't wanna go...so I didn't...might go to GYY tomorrow, or not...I'm a little excited about the upcoming ACME Band gig on Wednesday...the Combustibles gig? not so much...

it's against my nature...

       TUESDAY 4/2/19 10:18PM--to ignore what I hear as "not good enough, let's work on that." But that's what I'm gonna try to do from now on...no matter what band I'm in...I guess I have to...the ACME Band, as it turns out, IS as bad as the Combustibles...as for ITN, Dave is putting them on hold--the MontCo version at least...Dunno if any one noticed but I suddenly stopped talking (for awhile) at ACME practice last night...
      Geoff is a good guitar player; except that he occasionally "noodles" during the lead vocal--why? I have no idea...I try to play with a variety of tones, he does not...the fact that I don't like his tone is beside the point--his tone is whatever he wants it to sound like...I try to play in different styles, depending on the song and I try to get as close as I can to matching the guitar parts on the record--Geoff doesn't even try to do that...it's my opinion that Geoff and Phil the bass player need to leave their fondness for the Grateful Dead at home when working with the ACME Band...and *I* must stop joining in when they start playing Dead songs that I know...As for Harmonies, they are nearly non-existent in the ACME Band, but no one seems to notice...
         I think it's pretty much official--I'm a musical prostitute...and I wonder why I'm not in a band I can be proud of...very VERY depressing...

WEDNESDAY 4/3/19 7:17AM--I was kinda looking forward to going to a Grateful Dead jam tomorrow, but it doesn't happen every Thursday...looks like I'll be staying in...Next week's ACME gig doesn't pay, but (I assume) the Combustibles' gig three days later does...I can always use $50, or however much it is...the plan is to drive to Barry's house and carpool from there...
9AM--the more I think about my Musical Life, the more depressed I get...The leader of the ACME Band called last night's practice "excellent"...how much pot did HE smoke before he came to practice? if that's what causes his poor judgement...I'm not at all ready to admit that MY ears are somehow broken...I just don't get it...say what you want about the other local bands I have been known to go see and hear, but I wouldn't be embarrassed to be in most of them...none of them are perfect, and I don't expect them to be...but none of them sound as bad to me as the Combustibles or the ACME Band...the 4th Thursday Band is a bit better than the other bands I'm in, and it never practices...if we were to create a good enough song list, we would be almost dangerous...
6:32PM--almost the last thing I feel like doing is playing Music--I hardly ever feel that way...probably won't go out tomorrow night...can't find a reason why I should...