if it’s not my looks then what is it?

SATURDAY 11/17/18 - I just don’t understand why I’m not in a good working band...has Stoney been bad mouthing me? Is being in a band with Barry a major handicap? and why did HE dump me from the duo? I kinda wanna know and I don’t wanna know, ya know?
       Nervously waiting for Angela...

      Angela  came in, asked me how I was...I said “I just got better...” meaning that seeing her made me feel better...then we immediately went our separate ways...I’m not sure she knew what I meant...
          3 Song Sadie absolutely needs a better lead singer...otherwise they’re OK...turns out I knew three of the members of the opening act...THEY don't need me...but 3 Song Sadie does...frankly, the lead singer was terrible...

11:10PM--as I was leaving Xroads I ran into "Rockville Mike"...we chatted a bit and then I noticed Angela seemed to be sitting alone...just as I went back inside, she got up to try to take a few pictures...suddenly, as she stood next to me she opened her jacket to reveal more than a little cleavage...I'm convinced she knew exactly what she was doing--torturing ME...I think she was gonna go to Hershey's...I feel as though I was giving her the opportunity to suggest I go there too...but she didn't...I didn't really wanna hear a blues band anyway...so now I'm just decompressing, winding down...

It may be pathetic, but I've been listening to my handful of demo recordings lately...I don't think it's just my imagination, I DO have some Musical ability dammit...the demos were done circa 2006...surely I'm a better singer and guitarist now than I was then...
                   Dianne will be outta work until February (LONG story, don't ask) and so I feel like I can't sit around strumming my acoustic much less go work in the recording lab...and I've pretty much forgotten what little I knew about recording, etc. anyway...it'll be just like starting over (sigh)